Fishing guides are, or at least should be, highly experienced anglers with lots of great answers to the hardest fishing questions. But sometimes potential clients seem to think guides might have a crystal ball and actually be able to see into the future.
Crappie Basics: Questions to NOT Ask a Fishing Guide
by Richard Simms, CrappieNOW Editor
Every fishing guide in the country can give you a laundry list of questions they hate. They might answer them calmly, even with a smile in their voice, but inside they’re boiling. Here are just a few examples to keep in mind the next time you might call on a fishing guide:
How many fish will we catch?
Personally, I am often tempted to answer this question by saying, “You will catch 14 fish,” just to see if they take me seriously. No guide can answer that question accurately because there are way too many variables including weather, water conditions and MOST IMPORTANTLY, the level of experience or skill of the angler. Novice anglers typically will not catch as much as a seasoned veteran – and if the guide has never fished with you, they don’t know which category you fall in.
Will the fishing be better the last week of March or the first week of April?
Folks often ask this when they are trying to fine tune their travel or vacation plans. Ask if the fishing is likely to better in July or October and a guide MIGHT be able to give you a general answer, based on history. But don’t EVER ask about one week as compared to the following week. Simply put, they DON’T KNOW!
When is the best time to catch big fish?
Again, a guide might give you a general answer based on history. But with fishing you really never know when that big bite might come. You could catch a trophy the worst time of year – or catch nothing but dinks during the best time of year. My general answer when a client asks this is to turn around and ask them, “When is the best time to buy a lottery ticket?” Fishing for trophy fish really is like playing the lottery.
How far in advance do we need to book?
Guides cannot answer that because they don’t know what other potential clients are thinking or when the next phone call might come. They might say you need to book one year in advance, hang up the phone and the next call might be from someone reserving a date 13 months in advance. They really never know.
Is there a discount for children?
When compared to other businesses this might seem like a legitimate question. And some guides might actually offer discounts for kids. However, when asked this question, most guides will silently be thinking, “I should charge you more for kids.” Children are way more work for the guide than adults, especially if the youngsters are inexperienced or depending upon their maturity level. They also tend to be rougher on equipment. Most guides are happy to help adults get kids outdoors and give them a memorable experience. But kids are NOT less work just because they’re smaller. If anything, they are more work.