Waypoints: Be Kind

There are written rules and regulations for anglers in many situations. However there are also unwritten rules that can be more difficult to follow.

Learning to fish and live life.

by Geremy Olson

WayPoint: When you take the time to be kind instead of right, you help people grow.

As a tournament director I have plenty of opportunities to…let’s say, spell out the rules for anglers. As a parent I have the same opportunities to impart the “right way” of doing things to my kids. If you take a minute to think about it you will pretty quickly come up with the areas in your life you “have to” correct people for what they are doing wrong. We also are living in a time where most folks are fine with determining what they think is right and wrong for themselves.

Recently I was asked by an angler about how I would handle another angler’s actions that they deemed to be illegal. Just as I was about to answer, I paused, then asked for some time to think it over. It was obvious that the angler I was talking to was annoyed I wasn’t going to answer his question right away. The reason I paused was I was working on figuring out how to write about this principle and frankly was a little stumped. This was the opportunity I needed to walk through the application of being kind not right in a real-world situation.

When we ask the question, “how can I be kind in this situation?” it leads to more questions. First of all, what are both sides of the situation? What do they know? How much experience and what experiences do they have? Am I being fair? Are they breaking a rule/law or my own preference? Just keep asking; the list is endless.

In North Dakota we have new rules about aquatic nuisance species. Like with any new rules, it’s taking some people a little bit of time to get adjusted to changing their behavior required to follow the rules. Some of the rules are deemed a little excessive, but at the end of the day they are the rules. Last summer we witnessed two anglers almost get in a fist fight over someone leaving water in the live well of their boat to just go to the fish cleaning station that’s at almost every boat ramp on the Missouri River system. When it comes to fish cleaning stations, it’s interesting when you have people from three or four different states with three or four different sets of rules talking about how you legally need to clean your fish. I have also seen this turned into quite a heated discussion over who is right.

When you take the time to be kind instead of right, you help people grow.

What’s interesting is what happens when we are confronted with situations like these when we step back and ask the questions we just talked about. So, where are you from and what are the rules there? Take the time and listen and then say, “Hey let’s take a look at the rules here and pull out the fishing regulations”. Sometimes we learn we’re doing something wrong and sometimes we get the opportunity to teach somebody something new. But in either case, taking the time to handle the situation with kindness leads to anglers learning together instead of unneeded conflict.

Some of my favorite conversations in the boat is with a good friend who didn’t grow up in the outdoors. He routinely asks a pretty powerful question for all of us to keep in mind. “So, what are the unwritten rules for what we’re doing today?” Just think about it. What’s the etiquette that you grew up with for the boat ramps in your area? Boat ramp etiquette on the river is different than on the big water and is also different than on a small lake. Ask yourself this question, “Am I holding someone accountable for an unwritten rule?”

Getting back to the question from the angler about whether someone else was doing something illegal or not, I realize there’s a more important question. What are your motives in asking? Maybe the better way to say it is “what are my motives when I want to point out somebody’s wrong?” We all have a choice. We can choose to be right or we can choose to be kind. When we choose to be kind it doesn’t mean we don’t point out what somebody has done wrong or how they can do something better, but it does change how we interact with the people around us. What it does is change the motives behind our actions. It changes our expectations of the outcome.

When we choose to be kind, we naturally meet people where they’re at, while at the same time we take a look at ourselves and where we have come from. Taking this approach in more situations means there’s rarely even any conflict to defuse because most people are looking for friends and guidance and they understand they have a lot to learn in life. Taking the time to be kind means we’re taking the time to care for and teach others instead of boosting our own pride. This is true regardless of what position of authority we are in when it comes to the relationships, we have with the people we interact with.

When you take the time to be kind instead of right, you help people grow.

(Geremy Olson grew up in the outdoors. After being burned as a volunteer firefighter, he had to figure out how to teach outdoor skills to his children from a wheelchair while learning to walk. Today he is an inspirational speaker, Fellowship of Christian Athletes North Dakota Coordinator, ND AIM Tournament Director, Outdoorsman, Producer, Wildfire Consultant & Public Speaker (GOspeaks.live) He is also the proud father of the owners of Missouri Secrets Tackle.)